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Insights from Kathy Richardson

Navigating political discussions at family gatherings can be challenging, especially in the wake of a contentious election. But it鈥檚 possible to engage respectfully, even with different viewpoints, by grounding conversations in empathy, curiosity, and respect.

鈥淎 good place to start is by adopting a mindset of kindness and curiosity. Entering the conversation with the belief that most people are doing their best and voting in ways they feel align with their values can soften the tone,鈥� said Dr. Kathleen Richardson, Assistant Professor of Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Lebanon 天美影视 College.

When we ask questions instead of making assumptions, we open the door to genuine understanding without needing to change anyone鈥檚 mind. It can also help to use 鈥淚鈥� statements rather than 鈥測ou鈥� statements鈥攑hrasing that keeps the focus on personal perspectives rather than general judgments. For instance, rather than saying, 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 care about (issue),鈥� try, 鈥淚 feel strongly about (issue) because鈥︹�� This subtle shift can go a long way in keeping discussions open and non-judgmental, giving both sides the space to be heard.

Psychologist John Gottman, known for his work with couples, identified what he called the 鈥淔our Horsemen of the Apocalypse鈥�: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. These destructive communication patterns don鈥檛 just apply to romantic relationships; they can easily creep into family or political discussions, especially when passions run high. If you notice the conversation turning toward contempt or criticism, it may be a good moment to pause, refocus, or even take a step back. Maintaining mutual respect, even when it鈥檚 difficult, can keep conversations from spiraling into unproductive or hurtful territory.

Sometimes, it鈥檚 okay to set a clear boundary around political topics. You might announce a 鈥減olitics-free holiday鈥� or establish a shared understanding that political conversations should remain respectful and considerate. If someone crosses this line, kindly saying, 鈥淭his doesn鈥檛 feel productive鈥攍et鈥檚 shift to another topic,鈥� can protect your peace and keep the gathering enjoyable. Setting this boundary isn鈥檛 about avoiding tough topics but ensuring discussions remain healthy and grounded.

鈥淪taying tuned into your own emotions is also crucial. If you sense yourself becoming tense or defensive, take a breath and ask yourself if you need a break,鈥� said Richardson. 鈥淪tepping away, even for a few moments, can give you a chance to reset and approach the conversation more calmly. Small gestures, like grabbing a drink or taking a quick walk, can help release the tension before it has a chance to build.鈥�

One more helpful tool to avoid unnecessary conflict is recognizing common cognitive distortions. Heated political conversations often bring out cognitive patterns like 鈥渃atastrophizing,鈥� where people assume the worst possible outcomes, or 鈥渙vergeneralizing,鈥� where broad judgments are made based on isolated examples. Recognizing these patterns in yourself鈥攁nd even gently pointing them out in others鈥攃an help keep discussions grounded in reality instead of escalating to extremes.

Ending a conversation politely, if things become too heated, is perfectly acceptable. Phrases like, 鈥淚 think we鈥檙e at an impasse, and I鈥檇 rather enjoy our time together,鈥� or 鈥淟et鈥檚 agree to disagree for now鈥� can help avoid awkward tension without compromising your values. The goal at these gatherings is to reconnect, celebrate, and appreciate each other, and stepping away from political disagreements can sometimes be the best way to honor that.

Approaching these conversations with kindness, curiosity, and a commitment to setting boundaries as needed makes it possible to enjoy family gatherings鈥攅ven in a politically charged season. Respectful dialogue is always within reach when we remain open, grounded, and mindful of each other鈥檚 humanity.